How to Stop Resenting People Who Have Done You Wrong

It's only human to feel resentment when someone has done you wrong. But holding onto that resentment is poisonous for you and your relationships. If you're struggling to let go of resentment, here are four tips to help you move on.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step is acknowledging that you're feeling resentful. It's important to be honest with yourself about how you're feeling so that you can begin to work through those feelings. Once you've acknowledged that you're feeling resentful, it's time to take a closer look at why you're feeling that way.

2. Understand Your Reasons

There are usually two main reasons why people hold onto resentment: they either want the other person to experience the pain that they feel, or they want the other person to realize their mistake and apologize. If your sole focus is on revenge or getting an apology, then it's going to be very difficult for you to move on from what happened. Instead, try to focus on understanding why the other person acted the way they did and forgiving them for it.

3. Forgive Yourself

It's also important to forgive yourself if you were partly responsible for what happened. Maybe you didn't speak up when you should have, or maybe you made a mistake yourself. Whatever it is, forgive yourself and let it go. You can't change the past, but you can learn from your mistakes and do better in the future.

4. Focus on the Present

Finally, once you've acknowledged your feelings, understand your reasons for feeling that way, and forgive yourself and the other person, it's time to focus on the present moment. Dwelling on the past will only keep you from living your best life in the present. So make a conscious effort to focus on what's happening right now and let go of any residual resentment from what happened in the past.

Resentment is a normal emotion to feel when someone has done us wrong—but it's also an emotion that can poison our lives if we let it fester. If you're struggling with resentment, try following these four steps: acknowledge your feelings, understand your reasons for feeling that way, forgive yourself and the other person, and focus on living in the present moment. Doing so will help you move on from what happened so that you can live a happier life overall.