Why You Should Focus on What You Want—Not What You Don't Want

We've all heard the saying, "You get what you focus on." And yet, so many of us spend our time dwelling on what we don't want rather than what we do want. If you're constantly focused on not being overweight, for example, chances are that's exactly what will happen. The same is true for many other areas of our lives, including our careers, our relationships, and our finances. So, why is it that we so often focus on what we don't want instead of what we do want?

The first reason is that it's easier. It's much easier to think about what we don't want than it is to think about what we do want. When we're thinking about what we don't want, we're usually coming from a place of frustration or dissatisfaction. It's a negative mindset, and it's one that most of us are very familiar with. On the other hand, when we're thinking about what we do want, we're usually coming from a place of hope and possibility. This requires us to think outside the box and to see ourselves in a new light—something that can be very difficult for us to do.

The second reason is that we're afraid of change. When we focus on what we don't want, we're usually trying to avoid something—usually something that would require us to change our behavior in some way. Change can be very scary, particularly if we're not sure where it might lead us. It's much easier to stay in our comfort zone, even if that means putting up with things that we're unhappy with.

The third reason is that we doubt ourselves. If you don't believe that you can achieve your goals, then chances are you won't even bother trying. We often doubt ourselves because we compare ourselves to others who have already achieved what we want to achieve. We think, "If they can do it, why can't I?" The truth is that everyone starts from somewhere different and has different resources available to them. Just because someone else was able to achieve their goals doesn't mean that you can't achieve yours.

If you find yourself constantly focusing on what you don't want rather than what you do want, take a moment to ask yourself why. Is it because it's easier? because you're afraid of change? or because you doubt yourself? Once you've identified the reason(s), take some time to figure out how you can start focusing on what you do want instead of what you don't. Remember, YOU are in control of your thoughts—so make them work FOR you!